We’ve all heard the saying the bigger the risk, the greater the reward. Makes sense, shouldn’t those ventures that give you the greatest amount of anxiety produce the greatest amounts of joy and satisfaction? Isn’t that the payout for sleepless nights, stress riddled trips to the shrink, and all those self doubts? If it makes such good sense, why is it so difficult to take those risks? Change sucks, change is hard, and making changes without knowing the ultimate outcome can be debilitating…but it can also be exhilarating.
Throughout my life there have been periods of risk taking and periods of remaining static and while remaining static for some periods of time can produce feelings of stability, I’ve often found it to also produce feelings of, well, going nowhere. I’m not just talking about my professional life, my personal life has suffered from periods of inactivity as well, but as with my professional life, I can only remain in that state for so long. I’ve found that what makes me tick is the consistent need to move forward. Sometimes I make the right decision in my quest for continued growth, sometimes, not so much….but can’t make the right decision if you never make any decision. Was it Michael Jordan that said something about missing 100% of the shots you never take? Pretty sure, but regardless, I’m not much of an athlete, but even I get lucky once in a while and can sink a free throw or hit the jump shot (and have now exhausted all of my basketball vocabulary).
I’m not going to rehash every decision I ever made and whether I succeeded for failed, mostly because I’d bore the shit out of you but also because you’d see that I have failed many times and would likely not trust my decision making abilities any further…however, there are a few biggies that have been hard, have provided a great deal of stress for me and have ultimately brought me to where I am today.
10 years ago I made the first of some hard, painful, stressful decisions. The decision to end a relationship is never easy, it is never done (or shouldn’t be done) on a whim and was a decision I questioned more than a few times. However, looking back on it now, and I think he’ll agree, remaining static would have not only created more resentment it would have been more painful for much, much longer than the pain we dealt with in the divorce. He’s moved on, and seems far happier, that in itself tells me that the reward far outweighed the risk.
After the divorce I went through a time of transition…figuring out who I was, what I liked, what I didn’t, what I wanted to pursue and what pursuits were totally wrong for me. I gained a tribe that accepted me for who I was and who I wasn’t…I’d never felt more comfortable in my own skin, making decisions based on what I wanted and what was best for me. I ended relationships that were no longer working for me, some easily, some not so. I stopped dating all together because I just didn’t want to go through the motions for the sake of trying to find someone that I wasn’t sure was out there, and I jumped into a graduate degree program with both feet. But, after a number of years in transition, I was no longer in transition…I was just doing a bunch of different things hoping that something would stick. It’s just like being static, there’s no risk to just do a bunch of random shit…
What I really needed to change was my job. But, I’d worked for the same company for 12 years…was super unhappy in my job, another static period in my life, and was just going through the motions. No longer was I going above and beyond to show the powers that be that I was worth the risk of being granted a new opportunity. I’d stuck my neck out before, applied for other positions, obtained the degrees I was told I needed…and had my head promptly chopped off. So, I stopped giving a shit. I stopped caring if I did anything more than the bare minimum required of me. And I fucking HATED it…I struggled every day going to work. I think of it very much like a road race that just sucks….putting one foot in front of the other, cramps and all, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually you’ll get to the finish…whatever that looks like. For me that finish came in the opportunity to jump ship for a chance to work with my brother.
I know there are people that are going to say that there really wasn’t any risk involved or that not everyone will get that same opportunity, and to that I say Bullshit. That’s an excuse…and I know because I’ve used them all. My opportunity happened to have come from my brother, however, the risk was real. If not for my brother, the opportunity could have come from any other small start up, I still would have been faced with having to figure out how to keep the lights on, the raw materials coming in, ensure employees can buy groceries, making sure there’s a market for our product and that people know if they buy it that they’re buying a quality product. Beers or widgits…same problems. There were no policies in place, no handbooks to go by and there was no indication that within a few short years we’d go from a team of 3 to a team of 22.
Has it been scary? Still is…I’ve lost more sleep than most people have gotten in the past 3 years. I have anxiety attacks, most are mild but a couple have been whoppers and I worry regularly if I’m doing a good enough job to ensure the lights stay on, the raw materials get ordered and the employees can buy groceries. But, the rewards far outweigh the stress I deal with. I get to work with incredibly talented, passionate and intelligent people…every. single. day. I get to be part of a collaborative industry that celebrates the success of it’s competitors. I get to participate in the betterment of our community, meeting incredible people that inspire the hell out of me. AND, as if that wasn’t enough, I get to drink beer…..really great, well crafted, inspired, quality beer, not just our own, but from all over the world. How freaking great is that??? Every day is still a risk, not sure that will ever change, but for every risk I take at work, there seem to be 5 rewards to remind me it’s worth it.
Six months ago I took another risk, this time in my personal life…I did something I typically wouldn’t. I put myself out there, allowed myself to be vulnerable again, when I didn’t really know if I could be ever again. I was done, disappointed and disgruntled with the quality of options out there, so why bother? Turns out, that was a pretty solid decision as well. I wasn’t expecting anything, no risk and no expectation means you can’t be broken again, right? It also means you could potentially miss out on something great. You’ve all seen the posts on Facebook, you all know that the risk I took has resulted in some pretty happy posts, bright smiles and wonderful adventures. Don’t know if it’ll last or if it’ll end, that’s where the risk is…but I do know that right now, the reward is huge….matches the smiles…and that’s really all I need.
I don’t enjoy the anxiety and uncertainty that comes from taking risks, but I’ve taken enough of them to know that when it works, it works big time. I’ve also had risks that sucked, BIG TIME….but I’ve always learned something from those failures, once the pain and suckiness is gone, it seems less like a risk taken and failed as it does a life lesson, so is it really failure? I’m sure some people see it that way and allow those “failures” to keep them from taking additional risk. Perhaps I’m a little more stubborn or naïve or stupid…I like to think that I’ve had enough examples in my life to validate the risk/reward scale that I can’t imagine letting those failures to keep me from taking risks in the future. Regardless if its naivety or stupidity, I guess I’ll keep taking those risks….and thanks to social media, I’m sure you’ll all be aware of their successes or failures…maybe because of those, you’ll take a risk too. I hope you do, and I hope you see huge returns!
I Rise ~ Andrea